I was driving on a remote stretch of road on an island in NC when I heard a loud “pop” and my car began to overheat. It was getting dark and a big nor’easter was rolling in. I was on a particularly narrow stretch of road with water on both sides. I had just arrived to this area a week before, so I didn’t have friends that I could call. I started to feel panic setting in. I popped the hood of my car and stood helplessly over the smoking engine.
I was on my way to teach a mindfulness class. I had 12 people that would be meeting me and I felt sad that we’d have to cancel the class. I took a few deep breaths to calm me down.
And then it hit me…
There are always many options available to us in any given moment. And I had decided to not let fear have the final say in any decisions. As I started to shift out of fear, I remembered that challenges are usually opportunities in disguise. Yes, even a car breakdown. Where was the blessing? I was starting to feel intrigued by the challenge.
Did I have to miss class? It seemed so, as my rational brain said I should start taking care of this problem now while there was still some daylight left. But that was fear talking again and I had 10 whole minutes to find a solution. From this place of calm curiosity, I remembered that one person in the class lived near where I was staying. I found his phone number, explained my situation and he showed up in about 7 minutes. We got to class with 1 minute to spare.
I knew I needed a few more miracles before this night was over, as Tom could not bring me back home and there were no car rentals out here. There was nothing I could do about it for the next 2 hours, so I settled into the present moment. When class finished, I mentioned my predicament to the group to see if anyone was going in my direction and could drop me off with my car so I could call AAA. I wasn’t looking forward to sitting there in the cold and dark for what could be hours, and I still didn’t know how I’d get home after that, but this seemed like the logical next step.
The group immediately sprang into action and started brainstorming. “I have an extra car she can use, my husband is out of town,” “But you’re too far North, I have an extra car and I live closest.”
And so it went. I watched and listened with my heart swelling with love and gratitude for these generous people who had just met me; for the sophisticated deity orchestrating this whole thing; for my own evolution that allowed me to get into the place of calm trust that allowed this to happen.
Finally, a plan was hatched. I was given a car and several phone numbers with offers for back-up cars and bedrooms, should anything else go wrong. Nothing did.
I feel so lucky that my car broke down that night as it taught me that we are always safe and protected. And that:
It’s our inner state that makes all the difference.
The next time you’re faced with what might seem like a terrible situation, consider taking the following steps:
- Question your assumption. Is it really terrible? How do you know it is not a blessing? Is this happening to help you in some way? Just asking the questions can help shift you out of fight-or-flight and into a calmer state where solutions can show themselves.
- Take a deep breath. I know it might seem old-fashioned and obvious, but how often do we actually do it? In those stressful moments, it can open up just enough space for other possibilities to emerge. I like using “STOP” as an acronym. S-Stop, T-Take a deep breath, O-Observe. What is actually going on? What is my reaction to it? P-Proceed (from this slightly calmer and more aware place).
- Ask for help. From the universe. From strangers. From friends. It’s not a weakness. Most people want to be helpful and your request could actually be a gift to them as they get the opportunity to serve. Life is one big dance of giving and receiving. This is just your time to receive.
- Give Thanks. Gratitude is a powerful force and things could always be worse. Giving thanks for what is going right (there’s always something) sends a message that you’re open to a miracle finding you.
- Be open to outcome and not attached to outcome. When we get too fixated on how we think things should go, we could miss a perfectly wonderful, creative solution to the problem. Rest in a place of calm curiosity and see what arises.
Be playful and have some fun the next time you’re in a stressful situation. It may just be an unexpected doorway to your next blessing.
This is exactly what I needed to be reminded of today. So useful. Thanks, Erin!
You are so very welcome, dear Jane.
Great story Erin, and very instructive. There are 2 things that resonated loudly with me. First, the idea of ‘calm curiosity’. That is a powerful place, and so much better than breathless reaction mode. Second, your invitation to be playful and have some fun in the next stress moment is really interesting. Thanks for that suggestion. I will use it..