If you have ever taken a workshop with me, there’s a good chance I’ve shared at least one of Mary Oliver’s poems with you. If you don’t know Mary Oliver, she was a brilliant writer and poet who recently passed away.
Although she wasn’t labeled a mindfulness teacher, she absolutely was a passionate advocate of all things mindful: slowing down, observing, moving intentionally through the world.
“To pay attention,” she wrote, “this is our endless and proper work.”
Mary Oliver had inspired me countless times over the years, with phrases such as these that stopped me in my tracks:
“Instructions for living a life:
Pay attention.
Be astonished.
Tell about it.”
And
“Let me keep my distance, always, from those
who think they have the answers.
Let me keep company always with those who say
“Look!” and laugh in astonishment,
and bow their heads.”
And one of my favorites: “Listen–are you breathing just a little, and calling it a life?”
I had the great fortune of hearing Mary speak at an event in Boston a few years ago. Afterward she took a few questions from the audience. Her work had meant so much to me over the years, I didn’t want to miss this opportunity.
After some contemplation I decided to ask Mary this:
“Given everything going on around us in the world, how do you stay optimistic?”
Her surprising and brutally honest answer:
“I don’t.” Below is my paraphrasing and recollection of what she said next.
“Humans are wreaking havoc on this planet. We have put money and profit over the very things that sustain life. We have lost our way as a species. It is not yet too late to turn the tide, but soon it will be. The way out of this mess is to slow down, to witness the daily miracles, to reconnect to a reverence for the world. We can’t destroy that which we revere. Most days, I am not at all optimistic. But please prove me wrong.”
I live every day trying to prove Mary wrong. And she has taught me to shift my focus as a mindfulness teacher. We can teach mindfulness as strictly an exercise in paying attention.
But attention without feeling is simply reporting. Attention, according to Mary Oliver, is the origin of devotion. Attention coupled with heartfelt devotion, reverence, appreciation and connection can change everything. This is how I approach my mindfulness work now.
And this is exactly what I now share in my groups. We use our collective intentions to bring healing to ourselves and to the world. In fact, her words perfectly describe this dynamic:
“What does it mean that the earth is so beautiful? And what shall I do about it? What is the gift that I should bring to the world? What is the life that I should live?”
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In the meantime, here are some of Mary Oliver’s most impactful phrases, and beautiful sentiments to inspire you. Rest in peace, Mary and thank you for bringing your unique gifts into the world so fully and beautifully. May we all do the same.
I hope we prove you wrong and you can smile down in amazement at our collective awakening.
Yours in attentiveness and appreciation,
Erin
Mary Oliver’s wisdom:
“I know, you never intended to be in this world.
But you’re in it all the same.
So why not get started immediately.”
“What I want in my life,” “is to be willing / to be dazzled…”
“My work is loving the world.”
“I believe in kindness. Also in mischief. Also in singing, especially when singing is not necessarily prescribed.”
“Keep some room in your heart for the unimaginable.”
“Love yourself. Then forget it. Then, love the world.”
“Joy is not made to be a crumb.”
“What wretchedness, to believe only in what can be proven.”
“When it’s over, I want to say all my life
I was a bride married to amazement.
I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.
When it’s over, I don’t want to wonder
if I have made of my life something particular, and real.
I don’t want to find myself sighing and frightened,
or full of argument.
I don’t want to end up simply having visited this world.”
