“Normalize the Magic,” and other great advice Martha gave me
They say when the student is ready the teacher will appear. Well, I thought I was ready for years and no teacher was appearing. I knew something wasn’t right. I knew I was just slightly off course, but didn’t quite know how to get back on track. You know that vague sense of dissatisfaction? You know that pervasive but generalized sense that there’s something missing but you just don’t know what it is? It was like that.
So I did what any self-respecting westerner would do. I read books. Lots of books. This helped somewhat, but things weren’t shifting in a fundamental way. I started to meditate more and to go on longer silent retreats. This really helped. I was getting closer but still not quite there.
Two years ago, a dear friend called and asked if I wanted to go to Kripalu with her to see Martha Beck for the weekend. I had never heard of Martha Beck. When my friend explained she was a life coach and columnist for Oprah, I have to admit that that I was underwhelmed.
But she also had 3 degrees from Harvard and was a former teacher at Harvard. She was a best selling author. These were credentials I had been taught to respect. Off I went to see what the big deal was, skeptical but open-minded.
It’s hard to explain what happened that weekend. One person said, “It’s like she infected us.” The air felt supercharged and people seemed more alive than I had seen a group of people in a very long time. Finally, my teacher had appeared! And oh boy, was I ready.
I think I soaked in every syllable of Martha’s teachings. Despite having spent so much of her life in traditional education, what turned her life around was NOT conventional. In fact, in many ways she had to reject convention and respectfully not care what anyone else thought.
She offered up another way of being and doing in the world that resonated with me very deeply. Her clear and brilliant intellect allowed the skeptical part of me to hear her other message. And she was spot-on in a way that the rest of our culture is missing.
Since then, my life has changed in so many ways and I now have a sense of freedom and deep happiness that had eluded me until that fateful weekend. Here are a few snippets of Martha’s teachings that helped to change everything:
Rest until you feel like playing and then play until you feel like resting. Life should feel like this. Yes, purposeful work and money can come from this place. And it comes with more grace and ease than the traditional ways of striving, overachieving and constant doing.
When trying to make a decision, check in with your body. The mind can mislead but the body doesn’t lie. Does it feel like “shackles on” or “shackles off?”If it feels like shackles on, moving forward is a recipe for suffering.
Normalize the magic. Most of us have tasted the “magic” at some point. You think of someone you haven’t seen in years and suddenly they’re calling you. You are struggling over a situation and just the right sign appears. The right opportunity/job offer/person/unexpected money shows up just when you need it most. Magic isn’t a rarity, it’s just that we’ve been deconditioned to recognize it; like a language that we used to know how to speak, but haven’t practiced in a while. Through reconnecting with the magical flow that is always there, we can reestablish this connection and have such occurrences be commonplace.
Trim tabs Just as a gigantic cruise ship can be completely turned around by a few, small tabs, our lives can be turned around by a series of small actions over time. Take a careful look at your life and think of an area that could use some fine- tuning (or maybe even big change). Come up with one small action that would be a step in the right direction. Write it down and give yourself a deadline. Maybe share this plan with someone else so you have a witness and some accountability. Once this small step is accomplished, make a new small goal. Keep going until life feels like “shackles off” in all areas!
I could write many more pages on all that I’ve learned from Martha. I completed her life coach training program and am so grateful for the opportunity to have worked more closely with her.
If you’d like to schedule a free exploratory call with me to see if coaching might be right for you, please contact me at Erin@erinsharaf.com
I’d love to share the magic with you and guide you towards your North Star.
It’s hard to explain what happened that weekend. One person said, “It’s like she infected us.” The air felt supercharged and people seemed more alive than I had seen a group of people in a very long time. Finally, my teacher had appeared! And oh boy, was I ready.
