On this anniversary of the 9-11 attacks, I am reflecting on all those that lost their lives and their loved ones on that tragic day, and on all that has happened since.
I remember what was going on in my own life at the time. I was happily married and working at a local hospital. On the day of the attacks, I was seeing patients in my office.
One of the secretaries had a portable radio and we would turn it on in between patients. By the afternoon, most of the patients had cancelled. They were too frightened to come in, even though we were 200 miles away from NYC.
My husband and I had planned to go to Paris a few days after 9-11. We had been planning and looking forward to the trip for some time, but it did not feel right to have such an indulgent trip while our country was in mourning.
Instead, we got in our car and drove to NYC. We just wanted to show love and support, to connect, to help if we could, to bear witness and to just BE with those most directly impacted by the tragedy.
The First-Responders
We didn’t plan this, but ended up basing our week around visiting the Fire Stations in different neighborhoods. At the time, they had become shrines to those who, just a week ago were working there, but had lost their lives trying to help others on 9-11.
There were photos of the men set up, often with write-ups about them and their families and a fund to help their children. They all seemed so young. We always donated and spent some time talking with the Firemen who were on duty that day.
They seemed to want to talk, appreciative that their fallen brothers were not being forgotten. and we were happy to listen, to bear witness to their pain and loss and to thank them for their service.
Both of us had been to NYC many times, but this was like nothing either of us had experienced. And I am not talking about the smell, the debris flying through the air, or the gaping hole in the middle of the financial district, as wide as the hole in our hearts.
The Upside
What was most striking in the city that week was how friendly and LOVING everyone was to each other. People went out of their way to be kind and helpful. There was a real sense of community and brotherhood/sisterhood that is just not felt in a big city on the average day.
People made eye contact. And smiled at each other as if to say, “Hey, I’m alive right now and so are you and here we are together. Aren’t we lucky? Isn’t that something special?” And it was.
Despite the enormity of the recent tragedy and the “missing person” posters everyplace, it felt like people had woken up out of a stupor and remembered what was really important. This is not a dress rehearsal. It could all be gone tomorrow. The natural instinct was to be kind.
There were not that many tourists during this week and one night we had a restaurant all to ourselves. The cook and waiter came and sat with us for dinner. It did not seem inappropriate at all. We had all shed our masks and social constructs. We were 4 people together at dinner time. Why shouldn’t we come together? It felt very natural.
They shared their stories from 9-11 and also the stories of their lives-coming to the US as immigrants and achieving the American dream of owning a successful business and putting their kids through good schools. They were wondering what effects the recent attacks would have on all this.
We were of different race and ethnicity but none of that mattered. We were humans, sharing this moment in time together and when all else is stripped away, all that mattered was love and connection.
After dinner, they invited us to go play late-night soccer with them in a local park. They were trying to keep some normalcy in their life and soccer was a way to bring the community together. My husband, who had never played soccer in his life, went off to kick a ball around with his new friends.
The symbolism of this pleased me immensely. I actually felt good and hopeful that maybe this was a pivotal moment for us as a nation; that we would all take a collective pause and reassess our priorities.
The Opportunity
This could be our new normal; where people naturally are kind and compassionate and recognize each other (and the other sentient beings sharing the planet with us) as kin.
There could be a silver lining in this otherwise senseless catastrophe and it could be beautiful beyond anything we have known.
Unfortunately, as we know, this didn’t happen. My heart sank as I heard us directed to go shopping; to go to Disney World; to get back to business as usual.
I was incredulous. Didn’t our leaders know that most of us were not thrilled with “business as usual” and that we didn’t want to squander this opportunity? Didn’t they see the precious dynamic that had arisen from the ashes? Couldn’t they feel all the hearts that had been cracked open and the possibilities that go along with that?
We didn’t need more stuff, we needed more connection.
Of course, without being nurtured, this feeling has largely dissipated in NY and it has gone back to “normal.”
What We Can Do Now
The good news is that more people are waking up to what really matters and are giving voice to it, even when it is in direct conflict to what our government is telling us is best.
Those of us that are on the mindful path have daily opportunities to see what is and is not working in our personal lives.
We get to decide how we want our culture to feel and how kind we are to each other. We get to decide how much stuff we need (spoiler alert: we have enough!).
Let’s not let all those who lost their lives on 9-11 be in vain. We are all brothers and sisters on the path together at this moment in time. We’ve been trying out war and control for quite some time and it’s just breeding more war and hate.
Let’s try love and kindness. It’s so radical, it just might work.
Mindfully yours,
Erin
“Life is short and we have never too much time for gladdening the hearts of those who are traveling the dark journey with us. Oh be swift to love, make haste to be kind.”
― Henri-Frédéric Amiel
Thank you for this well-written reflection, Erin. Love is all that matters – may we all learn to respect our differences and just love one another.
Thanks for sharing, Nan. I appreciate your thoughts and your heart.
Humans have at least a thousand year history on this planet. I believe hundreds of thousands. Looks like humans have changed much since Cain and Able. As you say, we need to focus on the important. Shopping was not and still is not the answer for the vast majority of human beings. There is only one race, the human race and I think we are losing it ;-(
Thanks for your thoughts, Tony. I still have hope that if enough of us hold space for the more beautiful world we know is possible, we can start to shift things. May it happen sooner rather than later.